November 28th~Tough Love

Romans 15:1-16:27 

2 Corinthians 1:1-2:4

We closed Paul’s letter to the Romans and opened his second letter to the Corinthians. Although both the closing and the opening are mostly formalities, a common thread became evident to me, that of tough love. When we think of love, we usually conjure up images of romance, family, friendships, and other human delights; but, genuine love is not always an expression of benevolence or affection. These things are relatively easy for most of us. Sometimes love requires us to do hard things.

Our passage today began with Paul’s last words on a lengthy subject, that of “loving our neighbor as ourselves” (13:9). “Love does no wrong to anyone,” Paul wrote (13:10). Therefore, we must be careful when criticizing or condemning other believers for their convictions, words, or actions. Likewise, we must be careful not to offend others by our words and actions, being mindful to their sensitivities. “We may know that these things make no difference,” Paul said, “but we cannot just go ahead and do them to please ourselves. We must be considerate of the doubts and fears of those who think [certain] things are wrong. We should please others. If we do what helps them, we will build them up in the Lord” (15:1, 2). If we genuinely love and care for others, we will practice self-control and curb our words and actions so as not to offend them unintentionally. That is tough.

Next, at the opening of his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul shared a little of the trouble he endured in Asia. “We were crushed and completely overwhelmed, and we thought we would never live through it... But, as a result, we learned not to rely on ourselves, but on God” (1:8, 9). However, Paul did not share these things to illicit pity from his readers; rather he explained to them that “God comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. So then, when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your benefit...” (1:4-6). In other words, God loves us so much that He allows us to go through difficult times so that we can help others through difficult times. That is certainly tough love.

Finally, Paul expressed how stressful it was for him to write his first letter to the church at Corinth, which was a scathing rebuke of their disharmony and worldliness. “How painful it was to write that letter,” he said. “Heartbroken, I cried over it. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I wanted you to know how very much I love you” (2:4). Sometimes love requires us to confront sin in the lives of others and that is tough.

Daily Reflection

Is there a mixed message here? You are sup- posed to curb your words and actions so as not to offend others, yet there are times when you must confront their sins. Yes. Both of these are demonstrations of love. Where is the line? How do you know when to cross the line and speak to someone about their sinful words or deeds?

Parents love their children, but should they confront, correct, or discipline their children when they are in error? Of course. That is also love, tough love. So then, should you remain silent when other believers are living in sin? Not if you love them. Confronting and correcting them is also love, tough love. More damage will be done if you say or do nothing.

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